Dealing With Anger, Rage & Frustration

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These six things does the Lord hate: seven are an abomination unto Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies and he that sows discord among the brethren.” Prov 6:16-19

We have many things in our daily lives that can make us angry: Family, our children, marriage or relationship issues, death of a loved one, work related problems, job loss, political debates, economic hardships, racism, physical or dealing with physical, sexual or verbal abuse, childhood memories, school or workplace bullying and even traffic gridlock. The list is endless. Dealing with a combination of these problems or even one of them on a regular basis can really cause mounting frustration, anger, and rage.

Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

This escalating problem is based on the neglect of an individual who does not take full responsibility for their actions and emotions. “Be not hasty in the spirit to be angry for anger rests in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2

“If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.”  James 1:5

Anger is Not a Sin

As far as I know, there is no part of the Bible that states that anger is a sin. It’s how we react to anger that leads us into sin. Throughout the Bible, it warns us of the power of the tongue. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” Prov 15:1

“Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of your words.” Prov 23:9

Holding onto the Fruits of the Spirit

Anger is a healthy emotion of expression as long as we understand how to handle it. However, in the Bible it states that we should walk with the fruits of the spirit which is: love, joy peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness. Gal 5:22-23

Jesus also faced conflicts and opposition on a daily basis. Throughout His travels and teachings, He confronted others with truth and revelation. Jesus revealed his anger when the Pharisees turned the temple into the den of thieves. Jesus overturned the tables in the temple to express his anger towards greed used in the church. Matt 21:12-13

Taking Authority Over Anger Through the Holy Spirit

In our flesh, it is impossible to control anger. Our nature is to become defensive or revengeful, to prove ourselves or fight back. In the middle of an argument or disagreement, it’s so important to gain people’s acceptance, approval and respect for what we say or do. We want other’s to be on our side, but it takes humility to admit that we’re wrong and it takes true character and self-control to develop a tolerance level to dismiss anger, rage and frustration which can only be administered through the Holy Spirit.

“These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one. For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:1-16

“I can do all things in Christ which strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Our flesh is constantly in war with the flesh. “For that which I do I allow not: for what I would. That do I not: but what I hate. That I do.” “For I know that in me that is, in my flesh dwells no good thing; for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” Romans 7: 15 and 17

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. 2 Corth 10:3

However, just as tempting it is to walk in the flesh. We do have the ability for control ourselves. “He who has knowledge spares his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Prov 17:27-28

“For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be”. Romans 8:6-7

Let God be the Contender of Your Battles

Many times, God wants to fight our battles if we will allow Him. We must not react so quickly to a negative situation before we have time to think. Many times reacting too quickly leads to a lifetime of regrets. “A wrathful man stirs up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeases strife.” Prov 15:18

“Ye shall not need to fight in this battle. Set yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord with you.” 2 Chron 20:17

“When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” Prov 16:7

Taking a Look at the Man in the Mirror

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We cannot continue to blame others for failure to control our tempers. Pride gets in the way of truly being able to take an honest and healthy approach to the situation we face. We never want to admit that we could be wrong, but we are not perfect beings. Sometimes people are placed in our lives to allow us to take a deeper look at ourselves and reveal negative traits that we possess. “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud.” Prov 16:18

There is always a chance that our situation, obstacle or conflict you face may be your own fault. However, it’s not about placing blame or feeling guilty but having the maturity, heart, and wisdom to receive correction. “The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge]; but fools despise skillful and godly wisdom, instruction, and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkens unto counsel is wise.” Prov 12:15

“A fool despises his father’s instruction: but he that regards reproof is prudent.” Prov 15:5

Praying for Wisdom

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In the end, all circumstances and situations that we face need to be handled with wisdom. We need to respond and react in a Godly manner. We need the ability to discern the situations we face and handle with care. Meekness is often perceived as a weakness but it takes a man of great strength to stand in the midst of trouble in silence. Let us follow the example of Christ who when beaten, whipped and mocked but answered not a word. Matt 27: 12-31

“He that walks with the wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Prov 13:20

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened.”  Ephesians 1:17-18

A Cheese Danish Sunday

For most of us, the first thing on our minds in the morning is breakfast.

 My alarm went off at 6:50 AM. My stomach was growling but I chose to hit the snooze button until 7:30 to get the last few precious minutes of sleep. I showered, got dressed in a hurry and prepared myself to greet church members, faculty, new members and visitors for this was my commitment to serving the Lord on every third Sunday of the month. I didn’t have time to eat so I quickly made a cup of tea, grabbed a bottle of water and stuffed a cheese Danish into a plastic baggie and headed for the door.

 I thought of the lack of eating a hearty breakfast. I imagined hot, buttered pancakes drizzled with syrup, scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, a hot cup of hazelnut coffee and big tall glass of orange juice. As the cold air slapped me back into reality, I turned on the radio and carefully sipped hot tea while I waited for my car to heat up.

 As I waited for the red light to turn, I eyed the cheese danish. It was the perfect color— a beautiful golden brown with whipped, cream cheese filling sandwiched between the pastry. My mouth watered so I decided to take a bite. It was better than I imagined. The crust was soft and flaky and the cream cheese was soft and mildly sweet. Just the way I like it. It made my taste buds dance. The light turned green so I slid the danish back into the baggie and decided I would finish it once I got to the church parking lot.

 When I made the right turn, the cheese danish slid between the passenger car seat and the car door. As I went to clutch the bag, the danish fell out of the bag and under the seat between the car door. I was furious.  My tea was cold and I only took two bites of the flaky, soft crust.  I could hardly focus on driving and I just wanted to turn back around and go home and call it a day. Suddenly, a favorite Christian song came on the radio that calmed me down and ministered to my spirit. I started to praise God as I went on my way to church.

 Unfortunately, I was still rushing and felt a little frazzled entering the Walker Center lobby. I greeted the team leader at the Welcome Center. I was to meet a new volunteer in the Sanctuary. That is exactly where I didn’t want to greet today because I didn’t want to be around too many people. I was still hungry and a little cranky.

Once I met the other volunteer, he told me to relieve a lady working downstairs near the nursery. It was very cold because it was near the door.  In some way, I didn’t mind because it didn’t look like a busy area. I normally like to greet everyone upstairs at the entrance, but today was

different. I was hungry and cold, not a good combination in the morning. However once I started greeting people, my spirit began to change. I actually started to feel a sense of  joy enter my heart again. I smiled and welcomed everyone I met. It was awesome.

 Once I got to church, my pastor spoke about the importance of praise and worship. It was the perfect sermon I needed to hear. I felt my spirit come alive again. My spirit began to dance. I consumed the word of God and received spiritual nourishment that sustained me. I wasn’t even physically hungry anymore.  

 Just how we crave food in our daily lives, we should have the same craving for the Lord. Jesus should be the first meal of our day. Jesus is the bread of life. He is the sustainer of all things. “In him, is where we move and have our being.”  Our minds should be focused on Him as we start our day. He nourishes us with His truth, love, mercy and grace. He feeds us with the fruits of the spirit:

Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal 5:22-23).