Category Archives: Family and Marriage

Offering insights, advice, and discussions on building strong Christian families and maintaining healthy marriages.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Posted on by yolandaberry
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“But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us. Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace we are saved.”Ephesians 2:4-5

Love is lacking or non-existent in our nation, communities and most importantly in our homes. Some may have felt it, yet abused it. Others long for it while others desperately search for it. Many may take it for granted while others never felt it or experienced it. But, unconditional love is something that can’t be forced.

How does a four letter word carry so much weight and complexity? It can drive someone over the edge or force another to change their personality, values or morals to please.

There are so many levels of love: Loving a parent, sibling or child as well as a husband or wife, partner and friend. We can also love our houses, cars, sports, electronic devices and other treasured possessions.

Love is a powerful emotion. It can wound us. Reject us. Control us. Destroy us. However, this is a human kind of love.

Pure, genuine love heals all wounds. It is forgiving. “Without love the most magnificent manifestations of gifts and the most heroic self-sacrifice means nothing. Love suffers long, having patience with imperfect people. Love is kind. Love does not envy since it is non-possessive and noncompetitive. Love actually wants and allows other people to get ahead. It wants the best for you. It does not parade itself. Love is self-sacrificing. Love is not puffed up or treats others arrogantly. It does not behave rudely, but displays courtesy. Love does not seek its own or demands precedence, rather it is unselfish.

Love is not provoked; it is not irritable or touchy, rough or hostile but is most graceful and merciful under life’s demands and pressures. Love thinks no evil and does not keep an account of wrong doings but instead it erases resentments. Love does not rejoice in iniquity finding satisfaction in the shortcomings of others and spreading gossip. Instead love rejoices in the truth, aggressively advertising the good in people. Love bears all things, defending and uplifting others in discouragement. It credits others with good intentions and is not suspicious Love hopes all things and never gives up on people, but continues in affirming their future and hope. Love endures all things, persevering and remaining loyal to the end.”  

We have the capacity to love because God lives within us. There is no other love on earth like God’s love. We can search for people or things to fill the void in our lives but we will continually come up short. We will never come to terms with being loved by God until we understand the capacity of God’s love for us.

Unfortunately, we often feel we are not good enough to be loved by people or by God. We live in condemnation, fear and judgment thinking that God could never love us. When things go wrong, we feel God is punishing us for our mistakes, behavior, thoughts and actions. We often blame God when things go wrong.

Some of Satan’s greatest weapons is the use of fear, doubt, shame, guilt, regret and confusion. He constantly taunts us of our faults, failures, weaknesses, circumstances and problems. The end result is a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions due to accepting defeat and failure. The devil is a liar.

The devil uses the same plots and schemes. He is not creative. Once you recognize his bag of tricks, you will understand how to defeat him through the Word of God.

God is forgiving. God loves us more than we will ever be able to comprehend. He loves us no less than He loves His Son. He actually waits for us to come to Him in prayer. God celebrates us!

Sometimes it is much easier to forgive others than ourselves. You will not have peace until you learn how to forgive. The guilt or shame can weigh you down and eventually destroy you. You must also learn to love yourself just as much as you love others.

Please don’t let shame or guilt rob you of believing that you’re in bondage. “Who the Son sets free, is free indeed.” John 8:36

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” Psalm 103:12.

The Lord will redeem your mistakes. Every evil thing that the enemy meant for your harm will be turned around for your good. Genesis 50:20.

Building a relationship with the Lord is not built on repentance only. It is based on worship and praise for who He is; not on what He can do or provide.

God understands you and knows your heart’s desires. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.” (Jeremiah 1:5).

The Lord’s characteristics is of peace and not of harm. “For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm; plans for a hope and a future.” Jer 29:11

You are deserving of God’s love. It is the reason He shed His blood on the cross so we may have eternal life. “God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

His love does not have to bought, earned, manipulated or controlled. In 2014, let’s walk in love by first receiving and accepting God’s love as a prime example of His nature and honoring our bodies, minds, thoughts and actions by serving one another in love.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” Romans 8:35.

“For I am fully persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor thing to come. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Our Fathers

Posted on by yolandaberry
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father and son

“Our Father who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever. Amen.” Matt 6:9-13

Becoming a parent is one of the most important roles that can be accomplished in a lifetime. There is no instructional manual or training involved. The title of a father is defined as: (1) a man who has a child (2) a man fulfilling the role of a father; as by adoption (3) any male ancestor; forefather (4) an originator or founder of something (5) a priest or (6) stepfather.

Even though Father’s Day has passed, it is important to recognize the significance of the role the father plays in the family. Unfortunately, in today’s society not much emphasis is focused on Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day. It possibly could be because some fathers are non-existent in the family unit. With so many males lacking responsibility and strong character as well as other males who go unacknowledged for being a strong role model for their sons and daughters, it’s imperative to the survival of the family to identify how important the position is to the household.

“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” Gen 1:28

A father is not just a man who plants seeds in a woman’s womb and lives by his own terms. A father leads his children in their journey in life. He protects and provides for his children. He disciplines a child when they are in trouble or supports them when they are facing challenges. He listens to their needs and blesses them with every good thing. He shares his time and values building strong relationships. He is the head of household, not only financially but also mentally, emotionally and physically. He makes wise decisions and choices not with manipulation, dominance or control, but with Godly authority. He loves at all times and worries at all times while still trusting and knowing that God has everything in control. A father is not perfect. He makes mistakes and learns along the way. He also forgives himself for past mistakes as well as forgives his children for the mistakes they made. A father is a reflection of God’s love. He is an extension of God’s grace and mercy and the workmanship of strength, courage and honor.

We must constantly pray for the men in this country who battles with continuous struggles and carries heavy responsibilities in their personal and professional lives. It takes two responsible adults to join in union to have a child and care for a child. The child did not ask to be born, but often suffers due to the selfishness or lack of responsibility of adults.

Unfortunately, with so many broken homes, a child is torn between parents in a nasty custody battle or bounced from step parents on weekend stays which may provide an unstable environment. Society is at a critical point and needs to change its ways. The broken home is like a cancer which eats away at the nucleus of the family which eventual escalates and creates a fragmented social structure.

We must look to God (Our Father) to teach us all things. It takes the true character of God to work through us, heal us, change us and deliver us.

Five Stages to Building Solid Relationships

Posted on by yolandaberry
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woman and man sitting on brown wooden bench

Our lives are based on relationships. We desire to develop and build satisfying relationships. We strive so hard to find someone who truly understands and relates to us. When we do find that special connection, we are considered very rare and special.

Social media has made communicating even more interactive to share and learn about others in detail. However, we should not forget how important it is to connect with one another in a social setting or individually.

There are five basic stages of building a relationship:

  1. Casual Conversation; also known as small talk; discussing things like the weather, sports, work, etc.
  2. Developing Trust; Sharing feelings, ideas, thoughts and opinions
  3. Deeper Trust; Sharing deeper issues such as dreams, mistakes, pain and frustrations
  4. Intimacy; sharing another’s quiet space and enjoying each other’s company without conversation.
  5. Union; sharing a bond of emotions, feelings, actions and communication as one.

There are many layers to a person’s personality and history. It is a process to learn someone and each stage should develop naturally and not be rushed.

When you develop a relationship in your personal, social and business settings, it will allow you to find the right mate, friend or business partner. It’s fine to have high standards and not settle for less than you deserve. Respect, honesty, trust and communication should be the basis of any relationship. It doesn’t just work one-sided. The key is finding someone who shares the same values and belief system that you do. “Do not be unequally yoked with non-believers. 2 Corinthians 6:14

Heartaches and several headaches can be avoided if only we apply the simple standards that God desires us to live. Prosperity, peace of mind, healing, joy and fulfillment are just some of the benefits that God has promised us.

We should also apply the same five stages in developing our relationship with Christ before we even try to develop relationships with others. Our main goal should be striving for a union with Christ. Through our relationship with Christ, we understand how to treat others and walk as an example for others to follow. Developing a union provides a secure foundation to build a strong, solid healthy relationship.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He that abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in e, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. B this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit so you will be my disciples. As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep my commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 15: 5-12

References:  Elijahlist.com