Tag Archives: school bullying

The Act of Forgiveness

Posted on by yolandaberry
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words of anger

“Let all bitterness, indignation, wrath, resentment, quarreling and slander be banished from you. Esphesians 4:31

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do when someone has hurt or mistreated you. Many people spend years being angry, resentful or even revengeful. Depending on how deep the pain or experience, it may take years to recover and release emotional, mental or psychological abuse.

Just because you forgive someone, does not mean you have to keep them close to you. I remember watching the Oprah Winfrey show years ago and she stated, “Once someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them.” I thought that was a very powerful statement which I carry with me through life.

True character will eventually be exposed. People may try to mask their negative behaviors or attitudes, but it will eventually be revealed. If you don’t like the way someone treats you, you have a choice to remove yourself. You should also be cautious about who you choose to be in your circle. Negative attitudes and behaviors are contagious. Just like the saying goes, “Birds of a feather, flock together.” However, sometimes it is unavoidable to escape a negative person or environment. But, just because someone has done you wrong, does not justify treating them or others the same way. You are bigger than that situation or person.

Forgiveness is a process of letting go. It is by no means easy. It may even take years to overcome. Forgiveness may start in the mind, but it has to end in the heart. You can tell yourself that you forgive someone, but when you see them again or have to deal with them, negative emotions flair up. You truly know you have forgiven them when you can have peace in your heart, spirit and mind even if you never see them again.

When you live with unforgiveness, you are bound like a prisoner. Your emotions are locked up which can eventually lead to health problems and even terminal illnesses. Conditions of the heart is a real and serious thing. It can eventually destroy an individual, a marriage, family, a friendship, a work relationship or a community.

Jesus was the ultimate example of forgiveness. After being mocked and beaten, He hung on the cross and he said, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

Jesus’s whole ministry is about love and forgiveness. Most people in the world feels that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. However, it is a true sign of strength. It takes more maturity, courage, wisdom, strength and power to forgive.

If Jesus can forgive us for all the things we continue to do on a continuous basis and we “as His children” are heirs to the kingdom, we have the ability and the power to forgive others. “He (Jesus) who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” I John 4:4

When you forgive, you are set free. And, “Who the Son sets free, is free indeed.” John 8:36

“Judge not and you shall not be judged, condemn not and you shall not be condemned, forgive and you shall be forgiven”  Luke 6:37

The Unpopular Vote

Posted on by yolandaberry
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Leaderboard with Voting Day

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away and the lust thereof: but he that does the will of God abides forever.” I John 2:15-17

As I watched, “The Voice,” on TV, I imagined how it must feel to shine in the spotlight among millions of people after giving a spectacular performance. It must be an exasperating experience. It must feel so good to hear the cheers and screams from so many people.

So many people desire fame and fortune. It is all over the media. We watch celebrity reality shows, dancing and singing competitions and internet sensations. We are consumed with being followed on Twitter, liked on Facebook, and shared on YouTube. We are obsessed with appearance, personalities, talent and style.

We also live in a very competitive world which creates more stress to be the best. Sometimes by striving to be the best, we sometimes lose sight of the deeper connections to ourselves. We start comparing ourselves to others and trying to be better or do better than our neighbor. In the long run, we become dissatisfied or discontented with who’ve we’ve become in the process.

After thinking about things, it just made me realize how many followers we have in this world. Some people will lose themselves just to fit in. It just doesn’t feel good to stand alone in the midst of a crowd. People are easily swayed to go along with the majority or simply ignore conflict to blend in.

Children are constantly bullied in school because they are different. Women are judged for not keeping up their appearance, so they get plastic surgery to be approved by society or to feel better about themselves. Men are criticized for not being the stereotype of what a man should be. Men often cannot show their sensitive side or express the desire to be in a committed relationship.

We all have a role or a mold to fit into to keep others comfortable. It crosses all cultural, ethnic, class and social groups. We have roles in families, we have roles in our workplace and roles in our communities. If we step outside of expectation, we may realize that we’re standing alone which is a very cold place to be. It made me realize that the lack of leaders are slim to none.

What makes a good leader? It takes courage and strength to be a leader. You must not be afraid of the opinion of others. You give direction and guidance, but also know your strengths and weaknesses which allow you to delegate tasks appropriately. You take the blame when things don’t go as planned but know when to apologize when you make a mistake. You walk with integrity and authority and let go of ego and control. It’s a place where you stand in your convictions despite what others may think or say. True leadership is a place of solitude. It’s a place where not only your character is tested and challenged, but also your intentions and motivations.

Great leadership is hard to find. There is only one true leader who was not recognized for his miraculous work. Jesus, led by example and fulfilled the great commission.

However, I also wondered how many followers Jesus would have if He was physically living in the 21st Century? By unpopular vote, He would not agree with the gay right issues and gay marriages being passed, He would not agree with abortion rights or gun laws. He would not agree with women living with men and men living with women without being married or having children outside of marriage. So, He would definitely be a man who stands alone among a few followers just like He did over 2000 years ago.

As a leader, let’s remember that we will not always be praised or honored for the work we accomplish but we should work to please the Father in all that we do.

“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world: but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:17

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” Gen 1:27-28

“But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife. And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:6-9